The Real Reasons It’s So Hard to Get Over Him post image

The Real Reasons It’s So Hard to Get Over Him


No matter how toxic (and pointless) it is to continue pining for an ex, most women have a near impossible time letting go and moving forward.

Let’s say you had a job where you felt perpetually stressed, anxious, and miserable. You put in all you could, even if it came at the expense of your ego and sometimes, your sanity. And let’s say you got fired from that job. Yes, being unemployed is scary so at first you’ll feel upset and worried, but you will also probably feel relieved. You’ll realize it was for the best and will be thankful that you are now free to find a job that is better suited for you, one where you will feel valued and appreciated. You won’t spend sleepless nights pining for that old job, wondering what went wrong and what else you could have done. You’ll realize, with perfect clarity, that it wasn’t the right place for you.

Now let’s say you’re in a relationship where you feel perpetually stressed, anxious, worried, and miserable. You put everything you have into making it work, you give it your all, even at the expense of your dignity and emotional well-being. You put up a good fight, but it’s not enough and he breaks up with you. You were miserable with him, and now you’re even more miserable without him. You spend months, maybe even years, pining away.

Unfortunately, a relationship is hard to view through the same objective lens as a job. With relationships, it’s not just our emotions that gets involved, it’s our egos, our past pain, our childhood traumas, our insecurities, our fears. Everything gets activated and when the bomb detonates, it can take months or years to clear the wreckage.

As a result, when a relationship ends it’s not just the other person that’s missing, a lot of pieces of yourself also need to be retrieved. Many people make the mistake of thinking that the reason they’re so sad after a breakup is because they genuinely miss their former partner. This is true to an extent, but it’s far from the whole picture. The pain we feel is from several components, and most have nothing to do with the ex

Here are the real reasons it’s so hard to get over him:

1. You Think You’ll Never Find Anyone as Amazing as Him
get-over-him-tips-8

This is the biggest breakup myth of all and is the reason most people find it so hard to get over their first love. They cling to the belief that since they never experienced anything like that before, they never will again.

You convince yourself that no other man on the planet has the same qualities as him and thus, you have two choices: get him back or settle for someone who will never measure up. I hope you can recognize the absurdity in this! Will you meet someone else exactly like him? No, because no two people are exactly alike and even still, you and he broke up proving someone exactly like him is not exactly what you need. You won’t find someone with his exact qualities….you will find someone even better and more compatible with you.

QUIZ: Can You Get Your Ex Back?

 

2. You Were Infatuated
get-over-him-tips-4

Most people confuse true love with infatuation even though these two concepts couldn’t be more different. Love is about realistically seeing who the other person is, flaws and all, and appreciating the entire picture. It doesn’t make demands or need things to be a certain way, it grows and flows effortlessly creating an environment where both people bring out the best in one another.

Infatuation is about creating an unrealistic image of who the other person is and turning him into some supreme, perfect being. The biggest sign you’re infatuated is if you can’t find a single flaw in the other person. Infatuation usually happens because you have a void in your life that he fills. You don’t feel good enough about yourself and this supreme being shows interest in you, making you feel desirable and worthy, and you cling to him for more of that feeling.

His approval makes you feel OK…it makes you feel “good enough,” at least temporarily. Since he gives you something you need so desperately, you become terrified of losing him, and then the panic sets in…what if he loses interest? How can I keep him?

MORE: Why Did He Lose Interest?

You let him get away with as much bad behavior as he wants because you’re too afraid to call him out and risk losing him. As he retreats, you do anything in your power to reel him back in. You’re in a  relationship where you’re not being treated the way you want, and yet, you can’t rip yourself away. So you stay.

Eventually it ends leaving you more fractured and empty than before. You continue to idealize him and think the only way you’ll ever feel better is if he comes back. Self-love always starts from within, it can never be attained from the outside. Until you realize this, you will remain in heartbreak’s unrelenting grip.

3. You Sold Yourself Out
get-over-him-tips-2
This ties into being infatuated. In unhealthy relationships, we will often “sell ourselves out” in an effort to make it work. Selling yourself out means accepting behavior that you would otherwise consider unacceptable, or attempting to be someone your not. Maybe you don’t speak up anymore, maybe you aren’t the same bubbly, confident person you once were, maybe you put him and his needs above your own.

The emotional devastation you feel after a breakup is usually proportional to the extent you sold yourself out. When these relationships end, you will often feel like a piece of you is missing, like you aren’t whole. It’s a miserable, almost sickening feeling. You might feel like getting him back is the only cure, but it’s not. What you need to do is look at yourself and really try to determine why it is you accepted such poor treatment for so long, and what steps you can take to avoid getting into a situation like this again.

4. You Miss the Way He Made You Feel
get-over-him-tips-3

Most of the time, it’s not the guy you’re missing…it’s the feelings you experienced when you were with him. You miss the intimacy, the closeness, the feeling of being desired and admired. You miss the way he made you feel more than who he actually is.

There is almost always a period of withdrawal after an important element of our life is gone. Whether it’s your decision to make the excision or not, there will suddenly be a void and you may feel unbalanced as you try to cope without the thing that was once there to fuel you. It’s like quitting coffee or cigarettes. At first you think you’ll never be able to make it through the day without your “fix.” It will definitely be hard at first, but when you push past the initial discomfort, you will be able to function just as well, or even better, than before!

When you go through a break up, you may be missing the feeling of being loved and cared for. To fill this empty space, surround yourself with people who genuinely care about you and love you for who you are. Focus on re-building your life in a way that makes you feel fulfilled and content with who you are. You probably relied on him to give you a feeling of worth, and now it’s time to take ownership and give it to yourself.


5. You Gave Up Your Life

get-over-him-tips-7A boyfriend can often quickly go from being a part of your life to being your entire life. You stop seeing your friends as much, doing hobbies you enjoy, pursuing your passions. You want to spend every free moment with him and can’t pry yourself away. It feels like he’s your everything…because he is! And when “everything” leaves, you’re left with nothing. You feel empty, like a piece of you is missing.

The fact is, a lot of pieces of you are missing and he isn’t the final magical puzzle piece. It starts with re-building your life and making it full and balanced. When you drop other elements of your life and have your guy fill that space, you will have a huge hole once he leaves you. Realize that this hole isn’t because he was the other half of your soul, but rather because you threw a lot of important elements of your life overboard.

6. You Took it Too Personally
A lot of the time, the pain we feel after a breakup is really the throb of a severely bruised ego. Rejection hurts, even if it had nothing to do with you it can still sting and make you feel like you’re somehow not good enough. Sometimes two people just aren’t a match, it’s as simple as that. Sometimes both people can see this with perfect clarity, and sometimes only one person does.

MORE: How to Handle Rejection

Being single can be tough, dating can be exhausting, but neither of these options is as bad as ... (continued - Click to keep reading The Real Reasons It’s So Hard to Get Over Him)

{ 49 comments… add one }

Leave Your Comment Now…

nouran

thanks alot sabrina …ur words are so true and realistic about relationd ..i rnjoy reading ur articles

Reply September 30, 2014, 3:37 pm

Theresa

1 & 3. :/

Reply July 7, 2014, 9:57 pm

Erika

Thank you Sabrina ! You are so smart ! I m just wondering why we don’t teach these kind of things in school early on? It could save us a lot of heartache.

Reply June 14, 2014, 4:28 pm

Dawn

Number 4 is me….ugh!

Reply June 9, 2014, 12:00 pm

Robisel

Thanks Sabrina. I can see some answers to my questions in love life. I appreciate that.

Reply June 8, 2014, 10:22 pm

Virginia

First of all, this article is amazing! I wish I had stumble across it years ago.
I have felt all of those seven things myself. Looking at the past, all of my exes have incredibly wrong for me, but for some reason I wanted it to work. Wether they were filling a void in my life, or I thought my worth was determined by the fact that I had a guy with me (although I never really had them), or I was addicted to the feelings of intimacy or just in love with the idea of being in love.

The fact is that a lot of the heartache you feel after a breakup feels a lot like an addicted in rehab. Like Sabrina says, you feel like you can not go on a day without your fix, so you feel like life is much better with that person in it, even though you´re not really meant to be. Also, I realized that you feel terrible after a breakup because you wanna be the person that is meant to be for the other person. The thought of not being their match is heartbreaking, beacuse you keep thinking you were not good enough for them even when you love them so much (or at least you think you love them).

My first great dissapointment was when I was 18yo. It took me like 3 years to get over him, but the fact is that I was too young and didn`t know that much about men, relationships and life itself. So, I went of thinking that no other man would make me feel like ke did, or that I would never love with the same passion again. Truth is he was a lier and a cheater.

Now, I`m 28yo, and over the years I have learned to value myself above anything else. You can say I have become a little selfish, with my time and my life and who I let into it. It`s easier said then done, but when you`ve been on so many bad relationships you learn a few lessons. So, I have learned to not sell myself short, to not accept crapy behavior just to keep the relationship going.

I encourage every women out there reading this to never think they`re not good enough, to never stay in a bad relationship just to be able to say they are with a man, to never think they will never survive without a man in their lives. If someone is not giving you what you really want, confront them, if they`re not ready/willing/able to give it to you, then move on. It always hurts at first, but we always make it through. Guaranteed. And usually something better always comes along.

Reply June 8, 2014, 3:43 pm

jen

For me it’s 1, 4, 5 and 6..
Thanks for the author of this “A New Mode”…
God bless you more and more..

Reply June 7, 2014, 9:30 am

Maria

I really honestly don’t know which one applies to me. When we broke up it had nothing to do with the relationship. We had a wonderful relationship. He just started to change and that is what started to put a strain on the relationship. He just stopped doing everything he used to do while I tried to continue regardless of how he operated. He began pulling himself away from me and before you know it I was hearing the words “it’s over” and “it not you it’s me”. Totally devastated. All he said was that he needed to deal with some issues he had been pushing aside inside of him and he needed to do it alone without worrying about hurting me. I was hurt anyway. Still hurting. I knew I loved him. Even his quirks. I didn’t give up anything I enjoyed and even when he wasn’t around I knew how to enjoy myself. I still had a relationship with my friends and family even though I really enjoyed spending time with him. So what’s the difference here?

Reply June 6, 2014, 7:44 am

Monique

All 7 of these are true for me. I met my ex a year ago. Our one year anniversary would have been this month. He was my manager at work and he had this really mean tough exterior about him , but one day out of the blue I started liking him. I won’t lie. At first it was a sexual feeling. I really just wanted to know what it would be like to have sex with him. I know that was the first problem. Then we started talking and a month later we made love for the first time. By then I was deeply infatuated with him. I was 20 at the time and he was 36, when my mom found out she was mad at me because I still lived with her and had invited him over while she was out of town so of course we argued about it and I moved out shortly after due to other reason’s. Me and him started dating two weeks after our first time. We had amazing times together. And it was even better that I could see him at work almost everyday. We could never keep our hands off of each other and I felt like the luckiest girl in the world. Then my 21st birthday came and I didnt hear from him all day. His excuse was he was in the hospital. But I just shrugged it off. We argued but thats what most couples do. We talked about getting married and having a child together and we even stopped wearing condoms so I could get pregnant. I know it was stupid but I didnt care because I loved him that much. I had turned into the dumb chick in the movies. Everyone could tell we were in live and ppl would tell me they were jelouse of us. Then one day he finally spent the night with me for the first time. I never thought it was weired before that he never spent the night because he worked the over night shift, and he would go home and sleep on his off days and I didnt questio. That because we saw each other at work all the time. But this particular night everything felt wrong. And then when he woke uo at 7am to leave I knew something was off. After he left I emailed him (my cell phone was broken) and I told him that I felt like he was hiding something from me. I didnt know what it was but I just wanted him to tell me. The funny thing is God had been giving me clues for weeks but Ignored them. An hour after I emailed him, my mon called me and told me that his wife contacted her. I could not believe that he was married, with two kids already, but all the signs were there. I felt stupid for not seeing them. I cried for a month over him, and I missed him soo much, so I got back with him. I wasnt ok with being his sideline hoe but my dignity was gone. I was willing to do anythong to have him. So we kept talking behind his wife’s back. But things weren’t the same. He got more jealous and possessive and I kept going back and fourth wi th my heart and concious. I knew he was wrong for me and I wasnt the woman that I had become over him. So last week I broke uo with him again. Now I regret it because my heart aches for him, but I know im better then that. after reading this article I realize I feel all 7 of these things. Reading it hasn’t made the pain magically disappear, but it does help me try to move on with my life. Thanks Sabrina for your advice!

Reply June 5, 2014, 4:43 pm

buttercup

great article with a lot of truth. as i am rebuilding my life, the ex who wanted out wants to be friends and will check in every other day and that makes me feel lousy when he vanishes again! when he shows concern, i don’t know in what capacity he is doing so. i need to toughen up!

Reply June 5, 2014, 1:09 pm

Sandra

I think my situation is a combo of #5 and a little of #7, still trying to accept that we broke up…last time we actually saw each other was January, broke up in February….but also the occasional texting back and forth doesn’t really help.

Reply June 5, 2014, 3:14 am

Coladine

I miss the way he made me feel…but am glad am single, I get to do my own thing.

Reply June 5, 2014, 3:01 am

Trish

I have to say that if someone has to read ONE THING about break-ups, this has to be it. I have experienced several of them and they are all true and real.

Reply June 4, 2014, 2:59 pm

Renaiza Basaluddin

Its my first to read ur pages its so nice very helpful.

Reply June 4, 2014, 12:54 pm

Sharon

Hi ,
THIS is my first time on ur page.
To be very honest , “the way he makes me feel , and don’t know if I will find someone like him” .

Reply June 4, 2014, 10:11 am

Charity

Hi Sharon,

Am so grateful and pleased with your articles…to my surprise its like you know what i have been through or what am going through right now. I recently got involved with
a Portuguese man a month ago…we are currently working together on a road project here in zambia tho he is on the contractors side and am on the consultancy side…however we both living in the same camp in that we have different nationalities from Africa, England and Portugal till the next two years when the project ends…we started on a good note but things went bad some two weeks ago when he asked me for sex of which i refused for obvious reasons that it was so early for me for we need to know each other well…for me its not a priority cos i ve been disappointed several times…since then he does not talk to me nor pick my calls or we do is say ‘hi’ wen we meet during working hours…apparently all he does is passing close to my outside office window when going for his lunch etc…again he is been seen with some girls around this area…probably sleeping with them…I should confess i loved this person and one hurting thing is that we are in the same camp and seeing or hearing some bad staff about him really disturbs me and my work suffers at times…reading your articles will definately change my altitude towards relationships…am tired of being hurt and bumping into wrong men…

Thank you

Regards…
Charity

Reply June 4, 2014, 11:42 am

Belle

inspiring and guiding..thanks
..yes..most women think that “it is their fault..that maybe they are not good enough”.

Reply June 4, 2014, 8:04 am

Amy Thatcher

This artical has hit home for me…Thank you ! :)

Reply June 4, 2014, 7:58 am

Mimi

Hey thanx I’ll take yo advices.

Reply June 4, 2014, 7:22 am

Kim

this article is rightly put but 100% true…but then ultimately it comes on you only i mean u have to get up from the fall and move on… wat about the guy who pushed u and u fell…. lik the guy in the beginning so nice..the first phase of a budding relationship, everything so rosy and he pursues so hard..he is the perfect guy lik ryan in the notebook so nice kissing you..and with u 24/7 and finally then after some time u get used to this and bammmmmmmmmm!! he changes starts distancing himself and then its ur fault lik in the beginning wen u dont want to really give in and have it composed the feelings and stuff that time wen u havent given in he is head over heels and once wen u fall in love he moves away lik wtf!!! and then wen we in dat phase were ur trying to change his mind u end up chasing him….my point is that in the beginning ok they do all the crzy things to pursure u ‘to get the girl’ and then afterwards wen they get the girl they change and then you try to remind them ur so nice to them and they view it as damn she being needy and start distancing even more lik how is it fair to them in the beginning and wen we do that after they change they see u as a nagging bitch o watever…this is not even fair man UNFAIR!!! HATE LOVE!!!

Reply June 4, 2014, 3:08 am

Akinyi Brenda

I had given up on myself, wanted to be him all the time.

Reply June 4, 2014, 2:35 am

emie

Circumstances separated us and fourteen years later, though married with kids, I still long to be with him

Reply June 4, 2014, 2:22 am

happy

I think i ‘all never find someone like him

Reply June 4, 2014, 2:13 am

80sweetie

I’ m met this guy four years ago we hit it off start dating and 4 months down the road we made it official to be together a year later he told me he wanted to marry me and he treated my kids as if they were his own everything was great we were both so happy that we had met each other and he even had said I am glad that the last guy screwed up I went and now have his initials tattooed on me with a red rose about two years later he started lying to me cheating on me with my friend who is not my friend anymore, playing head games with me as well as becoming really controlling, so I left him, said goodbye and all in December of 2013 that was the last time I text him to leave him, he kept sending me messages until this month in June of 2014 he wouldn’t give up even though I wasn’t responding to him at all, I finally messaged him back, called him out and told him off and he still keeps messaging me, it’s so hard because I am in love with him and no matter how hard I try and I let him know I’m not coming back he always keeps coming back and I want to be with him but he is already starting to be controlling again and I have no problems with confronting him and calling him out I just don’t know what to do because I am in love with him and want to be with him but I don’t want him to be the way he is. I have even given him ultimatum. I feel I can’t move on because of the way that I feel about him, I feel like I am cheating on him even though we’re not back together. I’m not sure what I fit categories I fit into here. Please help me I’m confused on weather he really does love me and wants to be with me, or if he doesn’t care at all. He’s never hit me.

Reply June 4, 2014, 1:52 am

G

I met him on a job and he was lost to a terrible disease. It’s been over a year. I’m a very visual creature. I don’t have a self worth problem. I can not find anyone else as beautiful on the outside and inside. Nice but average looking guys just don’t turn me on. There is no spark. I have no dating experience and it’s not something that sounds fun for me. I am old fashioned and finicky… don’t know what to to about it. Friends and family can not help. Can not afford expensive therapy and counseling either. I feel doomed to be alone.
I can not hug and kiss myself even with self love. I miss that so much.

Reply June 3, 2014, 11:25 pm

Darla

I appreciate this article because I suffered from all of those points with the exception of no.2. I felt as though I would never find anyone like him nor as good. However, we were together for 4 years and it took me nearly 18 months to get over him. I was over the moon for him however he was all wrong for me. It wasn’t until we broke up and I stopped wanting him that I truly saw who he was. Selfish, rude, uncaring, unkind manipulative. Not any qualities that I want to see in any person that I allow on my circle let alone from the man I share my bed with every night. So thank you for reminding me of these things. I am currently seeing someone but because I opened up my eyes to see I know what things to look and what things not to tolerate.
Thanks again.

Reply June 3, 2014, 11:09 pm

Love

1,2, and 4 omg I miss him soo much I feel like crying and there is nothing I can do except tell myself that he’s gonna be back just for me cause he just left everyone without telling anyone where he went not even me. It’s been 2 1/2 weeks now since he has been gone and I can’t stop crying his sister was like Love leave it he’s a prick and get over it but the truth is this that I can’t it’s just too hard. And loving a guy for a whole year and leaving him is way too hard expecially if he was the first boyfriend you ever had. I miss him soo much. :’(

Reply June 3, 2014, 11:03 pm

Marrisa Guerrero

I moved on took 5yrs but we now talk here and there see each other I do miss him the old him but I don’t see us getting back together. I know all his flaws and all his goods I accept him for who he truly is. People actually judge me cause I say I still love him. If he were to ever accept me for all of me and wanted to try again I would because I know I love him for who he is even when everybody thinks he is bad for me or just a bad guy. But I don’t linger in missing him I don’t make seem needy. And really when he pushes me away to if I’ll bag him to stay. I don’t and that bothers him because yes I use to ask him to never leave me but with the break up we had n the time to heal and find myself again I realized I don’t need him to live or full whole or even love. I actually have a hard time from even my family accepting me for who I really am there always something they complain about or want me to change about myself. I feel I don’t belong with anybody but myself. I have hope in there is a great gut that’s meant for me and will accept me flaws and all. But I do have a hard time with dating and finding a partner.
I feel all I attract are men who want to cheat or have a 3way relationship that’s where they are with me and living with me but also have a other woman and she also lives with us. I get men that lie to me and really well but I end up finding out they are married or have been with a other woman before me for a very long time. I feel like maybe it’s me I don’t know. But I know I’m a great woman and the men tell me it’s wasn’t my fault because before I did tend to say it was me it’s was something I done. But now I’m confident it’s not me but how do I find the right man.

Reply June 3, 2014, 9:25 pm

Robin C.

You absolutely hit the nail on the head.

Reply June 3, 2014, 8:32 pm

Mel

yes! that so true.. I’m on that “complicated” situation, but now I realize and I know what should I do.. Thank you :)

Reply June 3, 2014, 8:23 pm

Girl

This article is spot on. It is the best thing I have read about breakups. I wish I could read it 5 years ago. I have discovered – while there is still hope, there is pain. A breakup is even harder to handle if it looks like circumstances are the real reason you are not together (like long distance or he just met someone else before you but would give it a try if things were different because he likes you and appreciates you). But no matter what the reason is, just let go. Move on. You are not together. If he really wants you he will not just let you go. And it’s an illusion that you will never meet someone you can feel the same to. I’m telling you now – it’s not true. He might be a great person and in other circumstances you could have been together but there are other guys out there who you can have a relationship with. You can never believe this when you are broken hearted but it always proves to be true. Believe me, he’s not the only one you will ever love.

Reply June 3, 2014, 7:26 pm

Lucinda

I am not in a relationship, but I want to be. I’m open to love, very down to earth and caring. I really think that I’m hoping on the wrong type of guys…they have been in long relationships or married and they are a bit damaged. I’ve never been married, hope to one day. Most times I feel like a dinosaur in the wrong era. I take sex out the picture and want to spend time , get to to really know a person. Seems that it’s not the thing to do now a days. I’m just refocusing my energy…i read, workout, work, and stay connected to family and friends. I walk in faith and keep my heart, eyes and ears open. But I love the info I get from New Mode, it answers a lot of questions and enlightens me. Great jobs you guys. Oh, I am a number 4. I withdrawal into myself.

Reply June 3, 2014, 6:56 pm

Robin

I’ve been in a toxic relationship for 7 months. He’s lied repeatedly and cheated. All of the reasons applied to me in this article until this morning after reading it. I’m so done with him! I deserve better than what little he has given me and put into our so called relationship. I’m a great woman and when the right man comes along he will treat me right and cherish me and value me. Thank you so much for your articles. You have no idea how valuable they’ve been to me.

Reply June 3, 2014, 5:49 pm

Ashley

Now officially guilty of all 7! Most recently number 3. I never thought I’d make that mistake but it’s been a learning experience for me. Thanks Sabrina for this article. Good food for thought :)

Reply June 3, 2014, 5:48 pm

Valda

Or, the sex was so great — maybe he (at first) got you to connect with a side of yourself that had been hidden i.e. female ejaculation.

And, you projected certain qualities in him that he simply DID NOT HAVE; but merely reflected back at you.

These two.

Reply June 3, 2014, 5:48 pm

Mona

Thanks, all your points are so true. I didn’t realise how much it’s the feeling of bring desired I miss, and also about selling out yourself to unacceptable behaviour. It’s do true it’s the great void you made in your life that you let one person fill, that makes it seem so devastating , like everything has been taken away from uou. It took me years, I wish I had read such a well thought out and clear article earlier.

Reply June 3, 2014, 5:41 pm

Cathy

I do not know how I got on this mailing list, but I am thankful for it. I just read 5 articles that made sense, starting with this one. The information in the articles is no different than from what my good friends and therapist have been telling me. But somehow, reading the information struck me as truth. I emailed the articles to myself to read again. Thank you. I now realize that my self esteem was completely leveled by this man I thought I could not live without. It was slowly and suddenly at times, shredded away from me. I am left as an empty shell absolutely hating the whole idea of having to love myself. I have a lot of work to do before I become involved with another man. Thank you. Cathy

Reply June 3, 2014, 4:35 pm

jacklyn

To be honest, , I never falling love to someone before.how ever thanks for that advice. .

Reply June 3, 2014, 4:19 pm

aastha

I was d one who ended it coZ it merely was getting reprimanded, misinterpreted, crying , hurting me every day. I had had enough n so had to end it when I realised there is no point to just drag a relationship. I did love him n expected of him a lil respect. . . But it never happened! Ah! I miss him alot but I cudnt mar my self esteem just to be with him. Still I don’t wanna be with anyone else n not even with him…

Reply June 3, 2014, 4:13 pm

Frances

It’s not till you read something like this article that you can find the excuse to reflect back.. God I really was miserable with him, he made me feel stressed all the time, I was so anxious of his infidelity that I ignored it.. I really knew inside me he was.. What a fool I was.. It wasn’t me that wasn’t good enough, I see that now.. He made me miserably unhappy and I pined for him! Actually makes me laugh now.. I was and am too good for that and him… Thank you Sabrina!!!

Reply June 3, 2014, 3:36 pm

neel

well I’ll go wid 1n 3 in my case!! n I’m over him!! luckily;)

Reply June 3, 2014, 3:15 pm

Mervert

I am the first one. Thought there will never be someone better than him :-(

Reply June 3, 2014, 3:08 pm

Alicea

Numbers 1, 2, 3, 4, and 7! But the funny thing is we weren’t even official and I was the one that ended it! I miss him so much and I’ve been in constant battle with myself thinking “did I make a mistake, maybe over thought the whole situation? Or did I do the right thing because I wasn’t being treated fairly?” We were together for almost 4 months and I ended it but now I’m feeling regret and missing him. Should I try and get him back? Or focus on me? Plus even if I did try, how would I go about it and how do i do it? And would he even come back if I tried?

Reply June 3, 2014, 3:03 pm

Diane

(4) I miss the way he made me feel. I can see that it was not a good match and we we’re not to be together. It took a while to move forward but I am starting to and I am looking for someone else. He is a good man and loving just not meant for me. It was a good 3 years and I know I deserve better. I will always love him to a point. We will both find the right person for us. We are still friends and will always remain friends.

Reply June 3, 2014, 2:55 pm

natasha moona

Tnx Sabrina. .. exactly how I felt!

Reply June 3, 2014, 2:50 pm

Juliet

Thank you Sabrina! My boyfriend of 2 and a half years broke up with me just over 3 weeks ago and all of these apply to me! Thank you for helping me see the way to move on ????

Reply June 3, 2014, 2:47 pm

richa

thanks sabrina….ur points are very true for me.
except for 1st and 2nd points i think all the others are true for me
what i m mostly frustrated about is the time i wasted for him and how i ruined 4 important yrs of my life which were so important for my career build up. Another thing is that i m not hopeless that i wont find anybody better than him but i m much more eager to get this empty place filled in my life ASAP…that sounds like a desperate person but along with that i m afraid of getting hurt again…
what to do ?? how to cope up ?? plz help

Reply June 3, 2014, 2:45 pm

richa

thanks sabrina

Reply June 3, 2014, 2:39 pm

Beth

You forgot that surge of seratonin that you are ues to getting from being with him, is now gone. Its actually a physical brain chemistry drain that happens and we sell oursleves short to believe its all about self esteem and behavior.

Reply June 3, 2014, 2:30 pm

Leave a Comment