The “Rules” of Facebook for Dating & Relationships post image

The “Rules” of Facebook for Dating & Relationships


After scanning the comments on A New Mode, I have noticed a very common topic in almost every discussion. Somehow we always manage to fit Facebook into all relationship/hookup/guy-meets-girl talks. I understand it. The image we portray to the world is now through statuses and pictures.  But how does that fit into our special, or not so special, someone?

I am happy to do my best to shed light on how to navigate the complicated world of The Facebook with the first ever ultimate Facebook rule book!

Pictures
Hi girls. I am a guy. I met you at a fundraiser and now would like to get to know you so we exchange names and numbers and now I go home and friend you. You accept. All of the sudden the business-casual, classy beauty at the affair turns into a funneling, ice-luging, pole dancing, make out queen of Indiana University. Here’s the bottom line on pictures: take them down.

Now pick yourself off the floor and hear me out. I do not mean all of them.  I just mean the ones that do not portray the real you. Facebook is a self-celebritizer (I have copyrights on that word…don’t even think about using it without citing me).  You are your own PR person.  So most of you right now who are looking for real, truthful, wholesome relationships have it in your best interest to project a real, truthful, wholesome you.

Most of you went to college and most of you partied really, really, really, hard.  Who needs to see that over and over again?  By the way you can always save the pictures to your computer that you can’t let go of.  Go on your facebook and take a hard look at every picture and ask yourself, “Is sexy Halloween cow girl riding the bull at The Roxy the image I’m going for?” If it is by all means keep it up there…just expect a cowboy in return.  And cowboys usually don’t stick around in one town for too long.

When to Friend Him
You can walk down the street passing people and just by hearing two seconds of girl-convo will most likely hear this topic being debated twice to 40 times a day.  “Should I friend him? I just met him. Should I wait? What are the rules? Does it even mean anything?”  You should friend him.  You should wait. There are rules. And it does mean something.

First, he’s probably not going to friend you first so don’t worry about that. It means nothing.  So now that we’ve established that you’ll be doing the friending the question is when. I am a staunch believer in holding out as long as possible.  Facebook has pictures and statuses of you since when you were 18 years old.  Maybe earlier.  As twisted as it may seem, FB is a deep look into who you really are.  What you believe in.  Democrat or Republican. Gay or Straight.  Funny or Boring. Has been to 20 Dave Matthews Band concerts, or despises them.

Get to know the guy the old fashioned way first.  That means face to face and using a telephone. Of course, if things pick up, somewhere down the line you’ll send that precious friend request.  But learn him naturally before you show him that you’re a boring, lesbian, republican, Dave Matthews Band fanatic.

Relationship Status
Whoa. I think this is above my pay grade. But I will tell you what I know.  First, no in-between statuses like “it’s complicated.”  I think that should be obvious.  Secondly, no surprises.  This is also obvious, but he should not find out he’s your boyfriend through his mom who saw it through her sister who knows a girl that read it on your wall.

Make sure your clear about the relationship being official before you FB officailize it (also copyrighted).  Most importantly, you need to make sure he is comfortable with this being public knowledge and you need to be OK if he is not! It would be sketchy if he hid you from his friends and family in real life, but some guys do not need FB to validate that they’re in a mutual, loving relationship.  It would show some serious insecurities if you fought over this point.

QUIZ: Are You Accidentally Sabotaging Your Relationship?

Also, the same goes the other way around.  Stand your ground if you are not comfortable with publicizing it and he is.  It shows signs of insecurity on his part if he needs that in order to be with you. Your relationship starts and ends with the two of you…not the rest of the world.

Posts
When you find yourself in a consistent relationship with someone it is okay to post pictures of the two of you in your everyday lives enjoying each others company.  Just know that all your single friends will begin to hate you on that day.  Just kidding….kinda.

Posts of yourself with your “guy” are cool, but PDA is not.  Your mom has access to your account.  Oh you didn’t accept her friend request you say?  She has hacked into the mainframe and paid off Zuckerberg and she’s in there.  She, nor any of us, need to see 12 selfies in a row of you making out in front of Niagara Falls. Keep the kiss cam at home.

While we’re on this huge topic, there is also no need to post every single one of his acts of kindness towards you.  Not only are you now pissing off ... (continued - Click to keep reading The “Rules” of Facebook for Dating & Relationships)

{ 8 comments… add one }

Leave Your Comment Now…

tiseni

My boyfriend watches cam girls and likes to have contact with them. I don´t know what kind of “rules” apply to that situation but I don´t feel comfortable with that.

Reply July 6, 2014, 11:53 am

vena

i have a boyfriend long distance relationship an he added me on facebook, an i was just joking with his girl friends when i saw some post in his wall the girl did not answer me an he wondered what is my problem i told him i was just kidding with the girl to tell him he better buy a more expensive car than the one he says he will buy for her as he claims it is his best friend for many years. He is jealous of any comment any guy friends of mines make on my status or pictures he removed me from facebook because i posted something he sent to me but apparently he cant remember an one of my guy friends made a joke an said “Me” so he thought is the guy that sent me that little love note when he cant even remember what he sent to me. So he said i should be ashame of myself how i must be have some man some where an how i wanted him to see that post. When i was trying to be romantic for him to see the note hoping he would remember it was him that sent it in the first place. So after he deleted me because i was trying to explain to him he misunderstood i told him well if i had to take it on as to what he girl friend does be flirting on facebook with him then i would consider it the same if not worst than what my guy friend did, he deleted me so fine i never message him again. However i told my guy friend what happened he added my boyfriend on skype an told him that he was just kidding with me we are not romantically involve . I dont know exactly what he said to him but maybe he did not believe an so i dropped it as it is because everytime i get organise to leave the country to meet him something always happens an argument always surface so 4 months have gone i have not attempted to add him on facebook, he did not delete me from skype so one day i put on my profile status on skype that i wish to have true love i was not thinking of him because i consider him an me to be over, he then sent me a message on skype asking me how can i have true love when i not with him he find i changed alot i am different it is because i not taking him on an have not messaged him at all he is the one that messaged me. Now he wants me an pretends as if he never broke up with me in 4 months i had met a cute guy in my own country however later i realise he was married i knew it was too good to be true an now i just going with the flow an see how this is gonna end because i really do love my boyfriend i wish to meet him soon but if it dont happen well then i dont know if i would ever be truly happy

Reply May 26, 2014, 12:04 pm

No FB Anymore

I deleted fb 3 years ago and I have never been tempted to reactivate it…sometimes I feel out of the loop but then I remember how I want privacy and to keep certain things private.

Reply May 22, 2014, 7:45 am

Noah Williams

Good for you! I have a ton of respect for people who can get off of it. Its like a drug sometimes!

Reply May 25, 2014, 12:32 am

Sandra

Love this! You’re a very entertaining writer.

Reply May 20, 2014, 4:53 pm

Noah Williams

Thank you! More pieces to come!

Reply May 25, 2014, 12:35 am

Carey

This was so funny and so true. Thanks for all these helpful “rules!”

Reply May 20, 2014, 11:48 am

Noah Williams

Thank you! Ill be writing some more soon! Hope this helped a bit.

Reply May 25, 2014, 12:36 am

Leave a Comment