I’ve been in an open relationship for the past two years and lately my boyfriend seems to have lost interest in sex. He is always saying he is too tired or busy. I try to be patient and understanding because we both have stressful jobs, but it has been two months. Whenever I bring up the topic he accuses me of only wanting sex as if that is the only thing that would make me happy. He still tells me he loves me and we still hang out, but I always feel miserable in the end. I don’t know what to do anymore, why isn’t he sexually attracted to me like he used to be and how do I fix it?
It could be one of a few things…
1) He’s really stressed and overwhelmed by his life… you’d know if that’s the case or not…
2) He’s lost interest in you sexually, but still loves you as a person…
If it’s #1, then give him the space to work out his problem. Know that it’s his own issues that are the problem, not you.
If it’s #2, then make a friendly break from the relationship. He’d probably like to still be friends, but for whatever reason, it wasn’t working anymore as a relationship.
Either way… you’re in an open relationship. For one thing, he may be getting his sexual needs met by someone else, that’s just the nature of this kind of arrangement. Also, men have a funny habit of stepping up their game when they think they could lose a woman they really like to another man.
So get back out there meeting other guys. Instead of fixating on this relationship where you’re getting less and less, go out and look for something that will fulfill you.
If your guy wants to keep you, he’ll get his act together and step up his game to keep you. If he isn’t that interested in you anymore, then he’ll let you go (he’ll actually be relieved to let you go) and if that’s the case, then that’s still a win for you – you’ll end up with a guy who’s a better match for you instead of one who seems to be lacking interest.
Finally, a really helpful thing to look at in a relationship is how you feel about yourself while you’re in it. I noticed you signed your letter as “Miserable” – do you feel miserable in the relationship for the most part? If so, that might be the biggest sign saying that it’s time to walk away.
MORE: 5 Signs He’s Not The One
Not all relationships are written in gold – some people are better as friends and some people are bad matches altogether. Just because you feel a certain pull towards someone doesn’t mean they’re the right person for you.
Take some time to really consider what, if anything, you’re getting out of this relationship and if it really truly is worth your time and energy. If you decide to keep investing your energy into this relationship then that’s fine, but just remember that this energy could be used to find and attract a relationship that is actually what you want and has you feeling happy and inspired, rather than anxious and miserable.
Hope this helps,