6 Reasons to Embrace Being Single post image

6 Reasons to Embrace Being Single


This summer, it was particularly difficult being single, even for someone like me, who has always embraced being the “single” girl among my group of close girlfriends. For the past three months, I’ve attended three different weddings and witnessed some of my best friends get married.  But as I stood by the altar, overjoyed and excited for my friends’ new lives, I couldn’t help feel alone.  I also want someone to share happy and sad moments with; someone who will inspire me and be challenged by me.

But instead of comparing lives and playing the grass is always greener, I compiled a list of reasons (freedoms!) why you should enjoy flying solo and appreciate moments of solitude.

1. Enjoying your own space. This may seem obvious, and there are also plenty of married couples and people in relationships who enjoy their own space—literally—and live in their own apartments or sleep in separate bedrooms. But there’s something about having the freedom to come and go places, like spending a long weekend in Miami with your girlfriends without having to consult with your other half, or enjoying a random afternoon at a café or the park without feeling guilty about leaving your sweetie behind. It’s a pretty big bonus to not have to check in or follow up with someone about your daily business.

2. Focusing on your own career and life goals. There’s no greater freedom than pursuing your own career and passion without having to plan it around someone else’s future. Take this time to focus on your life goals and ask yourself what you would like to achieve in the next few years. Do you want a higher degree? What’s your dream job? What are you most passionate about? Develop your own identity and let yourself shine through your work and actions. And, it doesn’t need to be big-picture goals either. Maybe, you’ve been meaning to sharpen your cooking skills, learn a new instrument, or take up another language. Being single gives you the license to do certain things people in relationships cannot.

3.  Appreciating the life you have. When you’re single, it’s easy to get caught up in the life you want, rather than enjoying the life you already have. But there’s something to appreciate about dictating your own time and space and enjoying moments of solitude. Reflect on your life’s blessings, including your family and friends, your career, your health, and even your fabulous personality. If you don’t believe me, check out this inspiring video from Andrea Dorfman about how to be alone.    

 4. Spending your money as you please. If you want to splurge on a new Celine bag, go ahead. If you want to get a mani and pedi, why not? That’s not to say you should be careless with your money, but it’s great to be able to treat yourself and spend your money as you wish. You don’t need to save money to re-decorate the living room, worry about looking for the most lavish birthday present for your boyfriend, or being sensitive to the kind of Christmas gift you give his family and friends.

5. Finding the right person. Being single is a great time to reflect on what you look for in a boyfriend or husband. Think of all the deal breakers you know you won’t be happy with in a relationship, but also create a list of all the good qualities and things that are most important to you. Do you want a family? Would you re-locate for love? Instead of rushing into a relationship for the sake of being in one, let things happen “organically.” Use this time to also heal and find closure after a painful breakup or relationship. Sometimes your happy ending isn’t with someone else; it’s about finding yourself and being happy with who you are.

6. Being selfish. It’s not that you don’t want to share your time and life with someone else, or that you’re being irresponsible, it’s just that you don’t have to. When you’re single, you can truly do whatever you want that people in relationships can’t really do. You can spend your own energy, time, and resources on your own whim without having to get someone else’s approval.

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What are your favorite parts about being single? Tell us in comments!

 

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Helen

Yes, there are many benefits to being single. I don’t understand why young women are so eager to get married.

I am divorced and I love being single, the benefits are many:

I don’t have to cook if I dont feel like it, I can wear what I like, I dont have to have sex against my will, I dont have to listen to insults and putdowns, I can sleep better without someone next to me snoring and farting, I can go on vacations, talk to friends on the phone for as long as I like, watch what I like on tv…not have to censor my thoughts, opinions, facial expressions.

Reply October 4, 2013, 6:18 am

Lucy

My favourite things about being single:

– Being able to plan my future, without taking into account another person. So for me, this includes career planning. I’ve just graduated university, and it’s hard enough looking for jobs. I have to be open to relocate.
– Getting to know and spending time with friends and family again. I used to be codependent in relationships, and wouldn’t pay enough attention to my friends, family, and another people in my life. By forcing myself to enjoy being on my own, I’ve got into the habit of socialising more, regularly cultivating new friendships,and reinforcing current ones.
– I’m not obliged to schedule time with a boyfriend (although just to clarify, I don’t see relationships that way!). With friends, I can say I’ll be out of action for a while (during a busy few weeks) and then start it off again. It’s not the same with a boyfriend.
– Now, having been single for 2 years, I have developed the self-confidence and presence of mind not to be attached to the first man who’s interested in me. Before I healed up, I would have settled for less than ideal. I don’t have an image of perfection or ridiculous standards, but I’m more aware of my needs, and of who I am, and that makes it easier to figure who is right for me and who isn’t. Because I’ve allowed myself to remain single for longer than I would have done before, I know not to date the first man who’s interested. I know that if I reject one guy, it won’t be long before another prospect makes himself known. There are plenty of men in the world!

I’m in my early twenties and I know this an important stage in my emotional development. When I became single, I wasn’t happy with it at all. But now I can see the benefits of being single at an important transitional stage in my life, which determines my future. When I’m more settled, I might think about settling down. For now, I’m more about meeting people and letting things happen organically. I feel less stressed because I’m no longer putting myself under pressure to find ‘the one’.

Reply September 16, 2013, 9:19 pm

Lily

Thanks for sharing this! This is GREAT!

Reply September 12, 2013, 12:16 am

Karen

GREAT article! Totally agree with all of it.

Reply September 10, 2013, 10:28 am

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