What Men Want in a Woman: Top Five Things post image

What Men Want in a Woman: Top Five Things


What do men want in a woman? It may seem like a loaded question, but really the answer is quite simple. While every guy has his own preferences when it comes to the physical–some like blondes, some like brunettes; some like petite, some like curvy–there are several fundamental qualities that all men crave in a woman.

The media might lead you to believe that getting a man is all about the physical: what you wear, how you do your makeup, the right push-up bra, the right scent. These things will certainly help you attract a man, but will do little to keep him interested and invested.

This is what it takes to be a man’s ultimate dream girl:

1. Appreciates Him
Men are starved for appreciation. No man is going to come right out and say it, so you’re really going to have to take my word for it. In relationships, women mostly want to feel loved and understood. What men want most is to be appreciated and respected. Rather than focusing on what your man isn’t doing, try to hone in on the good things he is doing (there have to be some).

There is no greater feeling to a man that that of being truly seen and appreciated for who he is by the woman he cares about. The trouble is a lot of women can’t see past the things he isn’t doing right. And what’s worse is a lot of women will harp on a man over these things, which makes him less inclined to do the things she wants. Instead, it makes him feel like a failure and he will shut down as a result.

If you can genuinely appreciate the little things he does, he will go out of his way to do the big things as well.

MORE: 5 Things Every Girl Needs to Know About Men

2. R-E-S-P-E-C-T
It goes without saying that an ideal woman is one who respects herself. She also genuinely respects her man.

In addition to being appreciated, men have an enormous need to feel respected. This is true of all humans, but usually this desire burns stronger in men. What I mean by respect, is she understands who he is and what he needs and gives him space to express himself without making demands on him and prioritizing herself over him.

Respect means accepting he needs certain things, even if they are in opposition to what you want or need. For example, when men get stressed or feel unbalanced, they usually like to retreat into their “cave” to sort things out. They don’t necessarily like talking through the problem and would rather work it out on their own and then come back into the relationship re-charged.

So let’s say your guy is having a hard time and needs some time alone, but you really want him to be open and honest with you and want him to share his feelings. Respecting him entails putting what’s best for him above what you want. In this case, it would be giving him the space to work through his issues even though you would prefer that he talk to you about it, because that’s what’s going to be most beneficial for him.

3.  Encourages Him to Meet her Needs Without Being Needy
While some of your previous relationships may have proven otherwise, the truth is men are natural givers. Yes, that’s right. They want to give, they want to provide, and they want to make you happy. What they don’t want is to be bossed around and told what to do.

When a woman tells a man what to do, she is essentially emasculating him by taking away the very thing that makes him feel significant: his ability to provide. When you boss him around, he feels like a failure for not being able to do his job. Rather than wanting to do more for you, he feels defeated and  retreats.

MORE: Why Men Withdraw

I’m not saying you should just let him do what he wants and not say a peep. There is a right way to encourage a guy to meet your fundamental needs (when I say needs, I mean universal needs we have as humans, like the desire to bond, connect, and support each other, not texting every hour on the hour), but it has to be done in a way that empowers him, not in a way that makes him feel like a failure.

If you appreciate your man and are able to see him for who he is and love him for being that person, flaws and all, you are empowering him. When a woman is in a good place emotionally, she can empower her man effortlessly because it comes naturally to her. She brings out the best in him because she is coming from a place of love, not a place of control. She doesn’t need him to validate her sense of self or be the one to heal her from her painful past. She is with him because she wants to be, not because she has some agenda.

Men want to feel manly and significant. They want to provide for you, it’s just their nature to be that way. However, a man will only want to give to a woman who can happily receive what he has to offer, not one who is going to make unnecessary demands in order to feel good about herself and secure in the relationship. A woman who tries to get this assurance from the outside will always be unsatisfied and there is nothing more unappealing to a man than an unhappy woman.

QUIZ: Are You Accidentally Ruining Your Relationship? 

4. Accepts Him for Who He Is and Brings Out His Best.
A lot of the time, women get caught up in turning a guy into what they want him to be rather than accepting him as he is and encouraging him become his best self.

Men can sense when a woman is trying to change or control them and it isn’t motivating, it’s crippling and defeating.

… (continued – Click to keep reading What Men Want in a Woman: Top Five Things)

9 comments… add one

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Joe

Speaking from 38+ years of marriage … I want a woman who takes care of herself for me. The same as I take care of myself for her. A woman who lets herself go once she has landed her man is saying “I’m in this for me alone”. Of course the reverse is true, a man who does not take care of himself for his woman is just as guilty. Ladies and Gentlemen, successful relationships are not 50% / 50% deals, they are 100% / 100% deals. Be committed to giving your 100% all the time.

Reply November 4, 2016, 1:35 pm

Mojiano

I’ll do anything to make my wife/girlfriend happy, and in return I want to be loved. This is not a deal! This is what I call connection (mutual or whatever!) For a man having romance, being appreciated, being respected, … means nothing if he doesn’t feel to be loved.

Reply June 5, 2016, 9:55 pm

Julia

Amazing article, very well-written and well-analyzed! Keep up the good work, Sabrina, you’re really doing the good work! This should be taught in high schools everywhere!!!

Reply November 17, 2015, 2:57 am

Jennifertei34@gmail.com

Hi Sabrina,
Am most grateful for the advice you have been giving. But pls most at times am not able to watch the videos you have been sending,I would love lt ,if possible it should also be written so that we that we can’t watch we can read. Please do that for me.
I want your advice on the this,is it right to date a married man. The person said yes because he doesn’t want the man to feel bad. Please your advice on that pls????

Reply October 13, 2015, 10:15 am

Holly C.

Hi Eric,
Need your advice on a guy I meet about 3 weeks ago and he is pulling away. We had a rocky start when we met and I had 2 great dates but then I did not text him for 2 days as I did not want to chase him and seem needy. Long story short I texted him and he flipped. He said I did not make him feel wanted and I was saying words were not backed up by actions. So after much arguing I apologized to him and showed up with a card at his house as a surprise to back up my words with action. Again he flipped and said I was way too much to deal with. So damned if you do damned if you don’t. I texted him a day after that but he did not acknowledge my feelings at all so I told him I was hurt. He flipped out again and said I had no idea what was going on his life. Anyways another argument that ended in him apologizing. This was on Friday night and the weekend went by and never asked me out nor have I heard from him in 3 days since the argument. Should I just leave this and move on??? or should I wait it out? Should send him a text? I just feel like he is going to what he wants anyways no matter what I do its wrong?? HELP me Eric.

Reply October 27, 2014, 1:49 pm

Iris

enjoying every word u write.
very eyeopening, useful and plain awesome!
thks

Reply June 9, 2014, 3:29 am

Cissy namirembe

Very helpful

Reply June 1, 2014, 11:10 am

CommitmentPhobe

Awesome advice Sabrina, thank you!
Just wondering…should women be like this from the get-go? What if the guy still has to prove himself – should we still be accepting, respectful etc? What if the guy we’re seeing doesn’t show us that he’s worth our time – shouldn’t we just be clear with where he went wrong (bullet points, sock puppets, whatever men understand lol), and move on if he’s unable to provide what we need?
Feedback appreciated! Still confused 🙂
More power to ANM! LOOOOOOOOOOVE you guys xx

Reply June 6, 2013, 5:07 pm

karen

Great article.. insightful and totally on point (as always!)

Reply June 6, 2013, 4:05 pm

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