Ask a Guy: Is My Relationship Heading in the Right Direction? post image

I have been dating a guy for six months, but we’re not official. I like him a lot and really enjoy spending time with him and I know he feels the same about me.  Since we both have busy work schedules and children, we do not see each other often, maybe every other week, and we’ve taken two trips together (including one last weekend). In between seeing each other i person, we text and e-mail sporadically. 

I’m just wondering if this relationship is heading in the right direction, and if it will lead to something lasting. I am also worried about coming across as needy and sometimes I hesitate to initiate texts with him. For instance, is it needy behavior to send the text: “Thank you for yesterday – I like when we see each other, it feels good”?

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10 Things Confident People Do Differently in Dating and Relationships post image

Healthy self-esteem is a prerequisite for healthy relationships. From my personal experiences, and my years spent writing about relationships, I’ve learned that poor self-esteem is the number one cause of unhealthy relationships, as well as the top relationship killer.

Self-esteem isn’t an essential need like food or water, but it’s a supplement that can either dramatically improve your life, or keep you stunted and unfulfilled. The fact is, you can only let in as much love from the outside as you feel on the inside. If you don’t feel good about yourself, you will never truly believe that someone else can love you and you will constantly be on the lookout for the other shoe to drop, for the guy you care about to leave, thus validating the fact that you are unworthy of love.

Poor self-worth is what traps us in bad relationships, what sabotages new relationships, and what causes us to feel so devastated and broken when a relationship ends.

Self-esteem doesn’t come from blowing kisses to your reflection in the mirror or repeating “I love myself” over and over. It takes time and it takes work and it isn’t always easy. Everyone’s path will be different, but no matter what, having a picture of what high self-esteem looks like, and how it can play out in relationships, is helpful and can help reveal the areas you may need to work on.

Having high self-esteem doesn’t guarantee a happy relationship, but it does equip you with the skills to identify what you want and realize you deserve to get it, and the strength to walk away if something falls short. Here are ten things people with high self-esteem do differently in their relationships:

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What Guys Really Think About Texting post image

Last week, I was witness to an event that has shocked and awed the few men that have had the great, great privilege of observing it. I saw the mind of a girl work as she received texts from her current love interest. It was incredible. I had been hypothesizing what it is that girls think we’re actually doing on the other end of that phone and finally someone pulled the curtain back and allowed me to meet Oz…Oz was a girl. Oz was very confused.

It began Friday night. I crashed at my cousin’s place for the night in Williamsburg and she and her roommate had gone out and done Williamsburg things like drank alcoholic beverages and told boys to go away. That is, until one boy approached the roommate (let’s call her Mel), and Mel did not ask the boy to leave.

Fast-forward through what I could only imagine was heavy bar flirting, them making several plans to hang out the next day, and eventually a semi-awkward goodbye of her telling him no, he can’t come home with her, and then it’s the morning after…and the texting began. And as a guest in the house of these rambunctious 20-something females, I had backstage passes to the show. [Click here to keep reading...]

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5 Common Misconceptions About Love post image

When I was younger, I couldn’t wait to fall in love. I vividly remember getting frozen yogurt with a group of girl friends when we were in middle school and one of my friends saying, “Guys, how excited are you to fall in love?” The rest of us couldn’t help but giggle at the silliness of her statement…but we all felt an undeniable rush of excitement over the prospect, and nodded in agreement.

I didn’t fall in love until many years later, when I was a junior in college. I had some false alarms before that, but it’s only when you experience the real deal that you are able to recognize how far off the mark everything else was.

I loved him with all my heart, with every fiber of my being…and let me tell you, it was nothing like the movies. While he loved me very much, there were too many other variables that stood in our way and the relationship was always strained and on the brink of implosion. We had maybe a month of being drunk on love…and then almost a year of pain and problems. I didn’t understand, this isn’t how it’s supposed to be.  The challenges and differences aren’t supposed to matter…it’s supposed to all just work itself out and then you make promises of forever and you keep them and of course, a happily ever after is the expected and rightful reward for making it through the storm.

The last thing in the world I ever anticipated was for my one true love so abruptly fall out of love with me…and in love with someone else. It left me broken,  jaded, and utterly confused. Was it not really love? It sure felt like it, but true love is supposed to last forever, isn’t it?

I’d say just about every person on the planet  is seeking, or trying to maintain, lasting love. The problem is most of us have longstanding, firmly ingrained, highly unrealistic ideas of what love is supposed to be, and feel frustrated when reality falls short.

No one would deny that love is a beautiful, transformative experience, but at the same time, it’s important to have a realistic understanding of what it actually is. Here are the top five biggest misconceptions about love:

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Ask a Guy: I’m Afraid the Guys I Like Will Never Want Me Back post image

When I meet a guy I like, all I can think about is when he will walk away/get tired of me/declare he doesn’t give a hoot about me. I also keep thinking: How soon before he sees I am not that great a catch?

But with the guys I totally don’t want, I am subconsciously aware this person would be in it for the long haul without me constantly having to prove my worth. Perhaps in those situations, I totally relax and give off a different vibe.

Basically, once I like a man, all I can think about is how much time do I have before everything shatters? A day, a week, a month? I immediately start waiting for the end. Maybe some part of me is tensed up the whole time waiting for him to leave. When I meet a guy I like,

How can I fix this? How can I change my vibe so the guys I like will like me back?

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How to Be a Great Girlfriend post image

How to Be a Great Girlfriend


There is so much misinformation out there on what it takes to be a great girlfriend. It’s not about cooking his favorite food or wearing sexy lingerie or mastering some crazy sexual trick (not saying these things don’t help, but they don’t get to the heart of the matter!). Understanding how men think and what they need in a relationship makes an enormous difference in the way you are able to relate to one another.

The top prerequisite for being in a great relationship is to be your best self. A trap that many people in relationships fall into is blaming their partner when problems arise. Rather than seeing what they can do to make things better, they blame him for not being what they want and think that if only he did xyz, everything would be fine.

It doesn’t work that way, though. You can’t ever make someone what you want them to be. All you can do is bring your best. When you do this, the other person will usually rise up and match you at this level.

Here are six ways to be the most amazing girlfriend ever:

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